Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Other Voices

I don't read blogs as much as I used to in the past. Hell, I don't read anything as much as I used to in the past. But I tell you what, instead of wasting your time today, I'm going to send you over to one of the few blogs that I follow with any regularity these days. 

So, do yourself a favor and type into your URL bar right now. If you're a sad bastard, you'll probably love this guy's stuff. If you're not a sad bastard...why are you even here? Seriously, shouldn't you be off somewhere doing whatever it is that happy people do?

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Back In the Swing of Things

Well, I've been back a week and I'm still out of sorts. Of course, it probably didn't help that I was that way before I even left. The place is a wreck; unpacked luggage is still in the living room, my dry cleaning needs to be picked up, the laundry and dishes are long overdue...shit, everything in this rathole needs a good going over. I swear, one of these days I'll take a trip and everything will be sparkling when I leave. 

At least then I can feel good about having to return home. 

I did manage to buy some groceries. In doing so, I'm inching ever closer to starting the Whole30 program. I'll be tough, but I need to at least make an attempt. It's one thing to look like a paunchy, misshapen goon, but when the machinery under the hood starts sputtering then you know an overhaul of some sort is needed.

It's going to test me for sure. Not just my willpower and dedication, but also my patience. In my adult years, I've made a career out of not cooking a goddamn thing. Now, I may become one of the few people you'll ever meet who ended up on a (mostly) raw diet out of sheer laziness and complete disinterest. Perhaps my wiring is all fucked up, but it depresses me to put a bunch of effort into something that I'm just going to shit out in a couple of hours. The way I see it, it's another goddamn thing that I have to repeat (constantly) just to keep on living...and I'm barely sold on that these days!

Friday, October 17, 2014

Over Rivers, Farms, and State Lines

It took a bit, but I'm now here in small town southern England. Obviously, my hotel (think Fawlty Towers) has wifi. Hence the reason I'm checking in with you lot now. I know I said I'd share a good story with you, but now is not the time. I've crossed an ocean, and the travelled by motor coach, automobile, and foot to get here. 

One hour's sleep plus a good helping of English ale has me more than ready to call it a day. So, for now, enjoy this photograph of a war memorial at night. 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Every Now And Then We Fail

I know I'd said I was going to write every day until 2015, but I found myself behind the eightball last night and just couldn't manage it. 

I let you down and I'm sorry. 

But be honest now are you at all surprised? I mean, disappointment is my middle name. Hell, just ask any girl who's been out on a date with me. 

All jokes/half-truths aside, you lot know that I'm trying. In fact, I'm writing this whilst waiting for a red-eye to London. I could be tweaking my fantasy football lineup or texting girls who won't text me back, but instead I'm here with you (in a manner of speaking.) 

Anyhow, if I can find the time (and the wifi) during this whirlwind trip, I'll be sure to keep posting. Just like I said that I would. While this post is little more than worthless bojangling, I've got one in the slow cooker about a recent lecture at the Smithsonian that really made a difference in my life. So, stay tuned, because if the plane doesn't crash - and I don't contract Ebola and die - then you'll be in for a one of my rare "good" stories. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Hello, Xanax, My Old Friend!

So, my brain feels like someone poured a gallon of Red Bull into the tank. Needless to say, I'm not sleeping. Hell, I haven't even been able to nap! The fucker just won't refuses to power down. If anything, it feels like it revs up even more once I shut off the lights and lay down. 

Of course, what my brain doesn't realize is that I have other weapons at my disposal. That's right; drugs. Tonight I'm turning to my stash of ill-gotten prescription medications. Now, please don't think that I'm excited about resorting to chemical help; I'm not. Last time I walked down this path, waking up felt like I was swimming a mile to the surface of the ocean. Still, the sleepless days are starting to pile up; I've gotta do something. 

Sunday, October 12, 2014

It Came To Me In A Dream

Somehow, I managed to get in a bit of sleep last night. I suppose a couple nights without it, coupled with a long day of drinking will do that to a body. Of course, all the booze and unhealthy fairground food made for a nightmarish dream experience. 

I couldn't tell you what happened for the life of me, as it all seemed to run together like a neverending blur. Screaming, crying, running, fear, rage, and confusion all haphazardly splattered across the same canvas. However, in the midst of all of this chaos, there was a single moment of perfect calm. My frustration, anger, and sorrow all melted away, my fists unclenched; I literally let go of everything. 

And it felt utterly amazing. 

But then, in the blink of an eye, it was over. Because even in my dreams I can't win. Right before I snapped back into consciousness, and this perfect peace was torn from me forever, a clue flashed in my mind. Then I opened my eyes in the cold darkness of my bedroom and spoke a single word;


Saturday, October 11, 2014

Sleep Can't Come Soon Enough

I'm beginning to think that my shitty mattress is to blame for my back problems. Which, in turn, is probably to blame for my shitty sleep habits. I can barely keep my eyes open right now, but I wonder how much of that is simply due to sleep deprivation and drunkeness? 

Guess well see in a few minutes.