Disclaimer: following my advice too closely might actually exacerbate whatever problems you might be dealing with; if they've become too much to carry, please, talk to someone and get help.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
If there's one thing we can agree on here, it's that it's okay to be down. We all have our share of heartache, disappointment, or just plain shit luck; that's just how life goes. However, if it ever feels too heavy, you've got to take a step back and put it all in perspective. As much as it hurts, or as bad as you may feel about your burden, someone you know is probably taking a bite out of an even bigger shit sandwich. While that does little to help your situation, you can at least take comfort in the fact that things aren't worse. Not to mention, you can pat yourself on the back and make believe that you're tough, like all those soldiers that saw insane, horrific shit in WWII but then came home, bottled it up and acted like everything was totally fine. Because that's just what people did back then...and because depression/PTSD/etc hadn't been discovered yet.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Whenever friends complain about how messed up the dating world has become I always say the same thing, "be the change." People aren't up front? Strive to be honest and transparent. People are are always late or don't respect your time? Be punctual. The list goes on, but you get the picture.
Well, it occurred to me this week that I'm not exactly practicing what I preach. You see, another thing I say is that toxic or defective types should remove themselves from the dating pool, so as to keep from doing damage to everyone else. That said, when the mirror was turned back on me, it became painfully clear that I'm part of that lot. I could try to argue against it or rationalize my way out, but when I go back and examine my own history it's obvious that those are my people.
That's where I belong.
So, that being said, I'm finally going to follow my own advice and get out of the pool. Given my laughably low success rate, I don't foresee much of a change.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
I've fallen out of my rhythm again or, more likely, I never got it back. I'll just say that it's been hard to post something daily, when every day starts to feel the goddamned same.
So, I had one of those moments of three the other day when I was talking on the phone to one of the SBSC West members. You see, he's got a kid on the way and we were talking about something like baby names or when to start teaching the baby how to handle a blade (an absolute must if you wind up with daughters.) Anyhow, we have a chuckle over something stupid like, me telling him to do all the official baby naming stuff after his girl has given birth and is worn out/drugged up. Then he could name the child anything he wants. Then he says something like, "well, you're up next so remember that."
As his words settled in my ear it struck me; that was the third instance in a month's time where a friend had (quite incorrectly, I must add) remarked to me that these life milestones that normal people experience are just around the bend for me. Because we're friends, I laughed and said, "man, don't wait on me...or else you're gonna be there a while."
Don't get me wrong, I'm not spun up about it at all. It just stuck out in my mind. At the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that friends want good things for each other, regardless of whether or not life's trajectory has those things in store.
Alas, it all reminded me of something I heard the reverend say at my uncle's funeral some months ago, "I saw two pale horses, side by side...one of them horses, I'm gon' ride." No doubt, it came from an old hymn or spiritual and, of course the underlying meaning was that, when your time came, the horse would carry you off to heaven.
Strip away the religious significance, and it's still a good metaphor. Those horses are side by side right now, but while one will continue on the prescribed route, the other will eventually veer off and go its own way.
I know I'm on that other horse, but where will it take me?
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
I don't read blogs as much as I used to in the past. Hell, I don't read anything as much as I used to in the past. But I tell you what, instead of wasting your time today, I'm going to send you over to one of the few blogs that I follow with any regularity these days.
So, do yourself a favor and type www.delicioustacos.com into your URL bar right now. If you're a sad bastard, you'll probably love this guy's stuff. If you're not a sad bastard...why are you even here? Seriously, shouldn't you be off somewhere doing whatever it is that happy people do?
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Well, I've been back a week and I'm still out of sorts. Of course, it probably didn't help that I was that way before I even left. The place is a wreck; unpacked luggage is still in the living room, my dry cleaning needs to be picked up, the laundry and dishes are long overdue...shit, everything in this rathole needs a good going over. I swear, one of these days I'll take a trip and everything will be sparkling when I leave.
At least then I can feel good about having to return home.
I did manage to buy some groceries. In doing so, I'm inching ever closer to starting the Whole30 program. I'll be tough, but I need to at least make an attempt. It's one thing to look like a paunchy, misshapen goon, but when the machinery under the hood starts sputtering then you know an overhaul of some sort is needed.
It's going to test me for sure. Not just my willpower and dedication, but also my patience. In my adult years, I've made a career out of not cooking a goddamn thing. Now, I may become one of the few people you'll ever meet who ended up on a (mostly) raw diet out of sheer laziness and complete disinterest. Perhaps my wiring is all fucked up, but it depresses me to put a bunch of effort into something that I'm just going to shit out in a couple of hours. The way I see it, it's another goddamn thing that I have to repeat (constantly) just to keep on living...and I'm barely sold on that these days!
Friday, October 17, 2014
It took a bit, but I'm now here in small town southern England. Obviously, my hotel (think Fawlty Towers) has wifi. Hence the reason I'm checking in with you lot now. I know I said I'd share a good story with you, but now is not the time. I've crossed an ocean, and the travelled by motor coach, automobile, and foot to get here.
One hour's sleep plus a good helping of English ale has me more than ready to call it a day. So, for now, enjoy this photograph of a war memorial at night.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
I know I'd said I was going to write every day until 2015, but I found myself behind the eightball last night and just couldn't manage it.
I let you down and I'm sorry.
But be honest now are you at all surprised? I mean, disappointment is my middle name. Hell, just ask any girl who's been out on a date with me.
All jokes/half-truths aside, you lot know that I'm trying. In fact, I'm writing this whilst waiting for a red-eye to London. I could be tweaking my fantasy football lineup or texting girls who won't text me back, but instead I'm here with you (in a manner of speaking.)
Anyhow, if I can find the time (and the wifi) during this whirlwind trip, I'll be sure to keep posting. Just like I said that I would. While this post is little more than worthless bojangling, I've got one in the slow cooker about a recent lecture at the Smithsonian that really made a difference in my life. So, stay tuned, because if the plane doesn't crash - and I don't contract Ebola and die - then you'll be in for a one of my rare "good" stories.