It Doesn't Have To Be Like This

Within half an hour of arriving at work today, I put in for leave on Friday. No particular reason, other than I can't take this shit anymore. I've been on auto-pilot for the better part of three years now, and I don't see things improving here. I'm thankful to have a job, especially when so many people in this country are struggling, but there comes a point where one has to stop and take stock of their life. Try as I might, I can't envision another 25-30 years like this, where the high point of my workday consists of getting the occasional free soda from the vending machine and looking at shaved pussies on my cellphone (yay, Tumblr!) during my lunch break (okay, okay...every 2 hours.)

We've been talking about loneliness quite a bit these days, and sure it can be a drag but the flipside to loneliness, to having no one in your life, is that you're only responsible for yourself. I think it was SBKW that once said to me, "It took having kids for me to realize just how free I was before." That's some heavy shit right there, but he's right on; with kids and a soon-to-be-wife, he can't, no matter how much he wants to, say "fuck it" and dip out on his job. But me? I've only got myself and this mangy hound to worry about; what the hell am I still doing here?

So, I told my co-workers today, "we should take thirty minutes a day to brainstorm ideas to get us the hell out of this place." They may not know it, but I'm as serious as a heart attack. I'm shooting for the stars, but I really only need to clear the treetops; enough to pay off my mortgage and I'm home fucking free. Seriously, I'd go back to working at The Terminal as a part-timer, and maybe spend a month or two travelling each year. All the while, working on an even bigger scheme to line my pockets because, while I can get by on less, I'd prefer not to have to do so.

I don't know about you lot, but I don't want to be, "wishing too late for things to go my way."

Death gets nearer with each passing day, so let's do this shit.

Let's get free.

Loneliness. Working Title.

Loneliness. The definition is in the dictionary. It means something different for all of us. For me, it's sitting at a bar, alone, beer in hand, ear buds in, Ipod pumping something mellow in my ears (eg: The Smiths) whilst I check my phone every ten-minutes for a text. A text from who? Someone. Preferably a boy. Preferably a boy I am interested in spending more time with.

This scenario happened to me tonight. What do I do about it? Nothing. I've been told multiple times that if there isn't a text or phone call, there probably isn't an interest. Hence my current state of selfishness "finding myself" leads me to be alone.

So, this sad bastardette is alone, writing, eating an open-faced sandwich with spinach, and still watching my phone for a green light flashing to alert me of a new text. Just in case my phone magically went on silent. Maybe I should restart it? Maybe there is a text that didn't get pushed thr.... oh who am I kidding?

I would also rather be alone than with someone I don't enjoy. So, keep that in mind when you are sad and crying in your pillow at night. I know I'm not the only one.

Meanwhile, while SBN1 is participating in the "humiliation diet" plan, I'll be going through the motions of my fourth (or fifth?) time of Weight Watchers. 2011 was the "Year of Caroline". 2012's slogan is "Get Shit Done". So, fat no more forever will also be in my near future.

So This Is Christmas?

...and the bells were ringing out on Christmas day.


I thought about writing this post when I got back from the bar early this AM, but I passed out so that kind of put an end to that plan. In fact, it had been swirling around in my mind the entire evening. Walking through empty streets and quiet neighborhoods, sitting at the end of a bar, I had a lot of thoughts about Christmas and the loneliness epidemic in America. Of course, now that the sun's come up and the booze has worn off, I'm at a loss for words again.

Guess I should have taken notes, eh?

No matter, the original intent still remains. So, whether you're waking up today beside a loved one, in a house full of family, or all alone in a flat that's in shambles, or on a park bench reeking of booze, I want to wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas, you sad bastards.

Now, if you haven't already, please enjoy the video taken from the Federal Reserve show from Friday. I didn't get the first couple of lines, cos my phone was acting up but I got most of it. I'd tell you what the song is, but if you don't already know it, well, that might be grounds for suspension of your SBSC membership.

Hahaha! Just kidding, guys!

p.s. I'm not kidding.

My Fall Check In.

Life takes over, no time to blog. Sorry to the 1 or 2 folks in the world whom might give a shit. Been busy with the kiddos, work and the fiance. Yep, one vagina for the rest of my life. I am ok with that, for once in my life I am with someone I actually like as a person (not to mention I think she is hot). While the romance front may be pretty cool, there will always be sadness/anger in my heart as long as I have to work. And live near so many fuckers. Once and always a Sad Bastard. Talk to you next winter.

She Can Get It [REDUX] : Anna Prior of Metronomy

I know it's been a minute since any of us posted here last. I can't speak for the rest of the gang, but I've been busy lazy. On the plus side, I've been posting on the mini-site on a semi-regular basis, so there's that. It's even more shallow and vapid than this site, so don't expect much beyond boob pics, random youtube videos, and me bitching about fantasy football.

But I digress, this weekend The Captain was in town and we both had the privilege of seeing Metronomy perform at The Rock & Roll Hotel. The band put on an outstanding show that covered material from all three albums and a rocking good time was had by all. Hell, I'm sure that if you poke around on youtube you can find some videos taken by audience members.

Anyhow, the band has a handful of tour dates left in North America and then it's back across the pond. So, I'd recommend trying to catch them in the next couple of days. Unless, of course, you live in Europe, in which case I say, "fuck you" and also, "can I please sleep on your sofa?"

Now I suppose it is high time that we addressed the elephant in the room...

WE WERE IN THE SAME BUILDING AS ANNA PRIOR! I PROBABLY BREATHED IN SOME OF THE AIR THAT SHE BREATHED OUT! THINK ABOUT THAT SHIT FOR A MINUTE, SON! DAAAAAAAAAAAMN! SHE IS GREEEEEEEEEAT! WAAAAAAAT?!?!?!


Alright, now that all of the histrionics are over, I'll explain for the folks that don't understand what that was all about (read: everyone.) A couple of months ago, I wrote this unassuming little post. Little did I realize that it would go on to become the most viewed post in the history of this shitty, insignificant, blog.

I'm dead serious, dudes. Almost no one visits this blog outside of a few SBSC members that pop by every few months...and that's when they remember that it's even here at all. So it's astonishing that one tiny post would rack up so many views. In addition to that, the stats show that the top three searches that bring people here all have to do with, you guessed it, Anna Prior of Metronomy.

So for all of the folks who have paid the SBSC a visit over the last couple of months (if only searching for information about the talented Ms Prior), thank you for stopping by and I hope that you can catch Metronomy on tour soon.

p.s. and it should go without saying, Anna Prior handles her business on the drums and can totally get it.

If you disagree, then we can't be friends.

If The Summer's Gone, Weather, Be The F*** Gone With It

The Last Ass of Summer

So today is the first day of Fall, and yet it's still well past seventy degrees Fahrenheit and plenty humid here in the DC metro area. What's more, it will be damn near eighty for the next few days. I don't know about you, but this sad bastard is more than ready for the temperature to drop about 25 degrees. Seriously, that shit could happen tonight and I would be okay with it. I'm fucking tired of sweating even though I'm not doing anything physically demanding. I'm tired of getting bitten by mosquitoes when I take my dog out for a walk. I'm tired of paying higher electric bills because I've got to run my goddamn A/C. So come on, warm weather, get your ass off this 500 Days of Summer kick and get the fuck out so Fall can do its thing.

Also, I realize that I have probably just wished a hellacious winter upon us, and for that, I am truly sorry. I hope that the booty pic provides you all with some small measure of happiness when we are inevitably cursing the bitter cold that is certain to descend upon the area.

A Farewell to Facebook?

I ain't missing you at all, Facebook.

A couple of weeks ago, partly as a money-saving measure, I began a "Social Sabbatical." A few days in, I decided to unplug from Facebook as well. At first, I figured I'd return to Facebook when the Social Sabbatical was over, but as time goes on I'm realizing that I really don't miss it. In fact, I've even considered deleting my profile all together. At the end of the day I decided to keep it, mainly to keep from having to explain to folks who might ask, "why'd you leave?", but also for the handful of friends and acquaintances who have no other way of contacting me (although, as I typed that I'm wondering why they couldn't just take down the email address or phone number on my information page and use those to contact me?) In any case, I figured I'd let you sad bastards know what the deal was just in case you were wondering why you hadn't heard anything from me on Facebook in awhile. Of course, you should all, at the very least, have my phone number.

And for those that might ask, "why didn't you give up Twitter as well?" I have three reasons: 1) almost no one that I know uses it, 2) I get twice the useful content with only a fraction of the friend drama that comes along with using Facebook, and 3) there are titties.

And speaking of #3, check out the SBSC tumblr site. Now with 50% MORE TITTIES and 75% LESS WORDS than this blog!