Loneliness. Working Title.

Loneliness. The definition is in the dictionary. It means something different for all of us. For me, it's sitting at a bar, alone, beer in hand, ear buds in, Ipod pumping something mellow in my ears (eg: The Smiths) whilst I check my phone every ten-minutes for a text. A text from who? Someone. Preferably a boy. Preferably a boy I am interested in spending more time with.

This scenario happened to me tonight. What do I do about it? Nothing. I've been told multiple times that if there isn't a text or phone call, there probably isn't an interest. Hence my current state of selfishness "finding myself" leads me to be alone.

So, this sad bastardette is alone, writing, eating an open-faced sandwich with spinach, and still watching my phone for a green light flashing to alert me of a new text. Just in case my phone magically went on silent. Maybe I should restart it? Maybe there is a text that didn't get pushed thr.... oh who am I kidding?

I would also rather be alone than with someone I don't enjoy. So, keep that in mind when you are sad and crying in your pillow at night. I know I'm not the only one.

Meanwhile, while SBN1 is participating in the "humiliation diet" plan, I'll be going through the motions of my fourth (or fifth?) time of Weight Watchers. 2011 was the "Year of Caroline". 2012's slogan is "Get Shit Done". So, fat no more forever will also be in my near future.